Sometimes we just need a laugh. And writers can be especially helpful with that. Here’s two passages I like…
First, the episode of Seinfeld called “The Deal,” written by Larry David. Jerry is good friends with Elaine, of course, but years back they dated for a while. One night they decide they can start having sex with each other so long as they keep it only sex, nothing else, not even sleeping over.
All goes well until Elaine’s birthday comes up. Jerry goes shopping for a present in a second-hand store, taking his buddy George along for help. Jerry hopes to get the right balance—a gift that won’t upset the spirit of the deal. Here they’re sifting through the bric-a-brac:
George: I got it. You wanna get her something nice? How ‘bout a music box?
Jerry: No, too relationshippy. She opens it up, she hears that Lara’s theme, I’m dead.
George: Okay, what about a nice frame? With a picture of another guy in it. Frame says I care for you, but if you wanna get serious, perhaps you’d be interested in someone like this.
Jerry: Nice looking fellow.
George: What about candle holders?
Jerry: Too romantic.
George: Lingerie?
Jerry: Too sexual.
George: Waffle maker.
Jerry: Too domestic.
George: Bust of Nelson Rockefeller.
Jerry: Too gubernatorial.
The situation’s funny because most of us have dealt with relationship precariousness. And it’s topped by that last word—amusing even if you don’t know it means “relating to the office of governor,” which Rockefeller was.
Next, we have Dory Dory Black Sheep, from the Dory Fantasmagory children’s book series, written by Abby Hanlon. It’s reading time in Dory’s first grade-class, and she’s paired with George because, well, neither one of them has come too far reading-wise. Dory considers George a friend, even though he’s on the goofy side. Here’s what happens:
Our teacher comes over. “I think you two are going to love the new series I chose for you. It’s called Happy Little Farm.”
We pretend we are reading until she leaves.
“If I was the farmer, I would just eat all the animals,” whispers George.
“If I was the farmer, I would move to the city and get an apartment with an elevator,” I say.
“If I was the farmer, I would run around naked and put mud all over my body and then stick things to it,” says George.
“But you would do that anyway,” I say.
The writer is a former first-grade teacher, and she knows how to capture these kids in all their very-real hilarity.
Now… go read, watch, or write something funny.
Alex Steele
Gotham President